Why Woman Obsessed with Bag, Is There an Answer for It?


Ladies, please tell me honestly, there must be an occasion when you meet a woman in the street, your eyes glance instantly to the handbag she is carrying with. A few seconds later you quickly turn your eyes away, trying hard to wipe tiny jealousy which for a few second swipes your mind for not having that bag.  Pretend that you have no interest in, not even a look,  her bag and more importantly you don’t want to boost her “look-at-my-it-bag” ego.

Nowadays, owning an It handbag is a status symbol, but not many understand, in antiquity time, only servant, or slaves maybe, who carried handbags so their masters could have their hand free from the heavy burden. What is considered as today’s status symbol, it was once a symbol of low-class indicator in a very stratified-structured society. It took a long journey for a handbag to transform from just a functional tool, for a servant to carry their master stuff, to its current  place as a woman fashion status symbol.

There is a mysterious relation between woman and bag. There is something about a bag that makes woman psychology adore it. It’s in her DNA, there is nothing you can do about that but accept it. We have to admit the temptation of acquiring the latest trendy bag is too big. The power behind this obsession over a  handbag is too strong.

Just go to a mall,  you can see how they meticulously displayed the bags in such a way that you can’t help but to look at. With the help of well-orchestrated lighting-play,  they look so desirable. There is a silent calling to own one,  be a part of the ladies who carry an It bag or your life will be empty without.

Let me make a confession here, I am not a type of bag lady but I have to admit the charm of those bags are irresistible. Sometimes I want to walk into that store to have a closer look or  if I am lucky enough,  be able to touch such luxurious things. Unfortunately, there is a glass wall separating me and that precious bags, figuratively and literally.

Therefore, I didn’t think twice when a friend of mine asked me to accompany her  to view a bag she has been aiming for quite some time. Mind you,  she already had a collection of handbag under her portfolio.

Having an It bag on your shoulder like having an entry card to pass the glass wall, to make you deliver you to the world of luxury. The staff welcomed us with a broad smile. Somehow I believed she scanned us from head to toe without made it so obvious. They had been trained to foresee the purchasing power by the look of the incoming potential buyer.

The first thing I notice, the whole store is very deep in  expensive glamorous atmosphere, which I found a bit cold. I wondered if I might find and an answer on why a woman is so high over heel with bag thing. I quietly  followed my friend, and sometimes gave a nod of agreement every time she showed me a bag and said, “Isn’t it beautiful?”

She picked one bag carefully, yes that the way you should treat a luxurious bag. Scrutiny the outside and inside parts, gently touch the surface to fell the texture with her fingers and inhale the smell of genuine leather. Her face looked so content as if she just inhaled a perfume.

Unlike cheap bag, never expect to find a price tag label hanging on the bags. You have to ask the price or if you experienced enough, you know where to find. Usually, they are hidden somewhere in the inside compartment.

The price petrified me a bit, I would never spend that much just for a bag? I couldn’t understand. But my friend didn’t back off a bit, for the bag she had been in love with,  she wouldn’t mind spending a big chunk of her saving.

“It’s not only a bag, it’s an investment,” she explained.  I gave a nod of agreement, even though I was not so sure about the investment part.

That day, she didn’t buy one but later, once we outside the store,  she told me she will buy the same model through an online shop at a little discounted price.  She just came to the store to check physically the long-longed bag. Genius strategy.  At least she saved some money.

Maybe there is something about a handbag that makes a woman feel feminine, sensual and sophisticated.  There is a special bond between a woman and her bag to the extent of willing to splurge.  It’s not only a desire, for some it’s an obsession and in some cases,  it also stretches to an addiction.

Gentlemen, if you find your self so perplexed with this bag obsession frenzy, don’t worry, some women also couldn’t understand, like me for example.  Whatever it is, woman obsession with an It bag will be here to stay.








I Didn’t Know What To Say to My Colleagues When They Just Lost Their Jobs

It had been long gloomy years for oil and gas industry, the oil price plunged down and no signs of going up to its peak value again. It seemed that the glory period of this business was over. We all knew and prepared that only a matter of time before the company would terminate a big number of employees.

Oil and gas business is a small world. One day we heard, one oil company which shared the same building with my company, just laid-off some of their employees.  Well, that was expected but the way they conducted the lay-off procedure was quite harsh for my personal standard.  On that fateful morning, the prospective to-be-laid-off employees were called to the HR office, told that they were fired and it applied immediately, meaning they had to leave the office right after that short visit to the HR office. They only had a few minutes to go back to their desk to take their personal belongings with them.

However, according to some colleagues, that kind of procedure was quite normal for some companies, so they were not surprised as I was. The lay-off program has been informed before, only no one knew when and who would be affected. Knowing the company culture, most of them already clear up their desk.

I couldn’t imagine if that thing happened to me. After more than ten years working in the same company, I have accumulated tons of junks on my desk, in my drawers and some under my desk.  The first thing came to my mind was to get rid of those junks.

Someone told me that the company where I work for is government related company, that kind of no-sweet-talk lay-off procedure would never happen as it would tarnish the government with a bad image. It would be done as humanely as possible. Losing a job is depressing enough, going through that unsympathetic treatment made you even lower.

Finally, the time came for   my company to do massive employee lay-off. We were informed that the notice of termination was sent on our HR computer systems, no hard copy letter as the company conduct paperless working policy. I knew my position was spared for the time being as I still involved in an on-going project. But still I was nervous when I type my keyboard to check the system and I was a relief when I didn’t find any notification.

When I finished checking and took my eyes from the computer screen, I realized some of the desks were vacant. My soon-to-be unemployed colleagues had to report to the HR office immediately as stated clearly on the notification.  Unlike the previous company, my company gave one week time for them to sort out all the necessary things before they totally were not allowed to enter the office.

During that one week, the office mood was so quiet, gloomy, and a bit sad for both the ones who stayed and the ones who had to leave. I felt sorry for them but I didn’t know the proper way to express my empathy for their unfortunate situation.  I was afraid a wrong choice of words would hurt them more. So I chose to say nothing.

Over three years later, when I am no longer working, I found an article on the internet about what to say and what not to say to someone who just lost their jobs.

According to the article, these are Things to says :

“I’ll keep my eyes for any job opening that might be a good fit for you.”

I was in the comfort zone for staying too long in the company for the  same job. I had no idea how to find a new job if, never regularly updating my CV. I was not capable to offer them that opportunity.

“Let me treat you to lunch so we can catch up.”

Yes, we had after office hour coffee and a little chit chat about uncertain future plans and promise to keep in touch. Thankfully with a Whatsup group, we still continue connected.

“Even though I know you’re scared, you’ll get through this and be just fine.”

I didn’t  have any idea to construct such encouraging statement like that.


Also, these are Things not to says:

“So, how are you gonna pay the bills.”

This was definitely off limit, unless the person was my close family member or my best friend, I wouldn’t discuss about money.


“OMG, I wish my company would fire me. I hate it there.”

I was bored to the bone with my job, really wanted to go. But I stayed because I need to stay longer to have more saving, in case I would be out of a job one day. But nobody in the office needed to know, especially the bosses.


I did nothing most of the time, but according to the article did nothing was the same as not having any concern and it’s awful.

I wish I would have known this that time. Offering a little support with encouraging words would lift their motivation to face an uncertain future. Things have happened but more importantly, I always take a lesson from my journey.

Why I Like Composting My Kitchen Waste and So Do You

It has been my life long dream to turn kitchen waste into compost. I lived in a high-rised apartment for years before, so composting kitchen waste seemed impossible. As I understand there is a stage of decaying process where the smelly liquid is expelled. I couldn’t imagine those disgusting smelly things happen in my small apartment balcony. The only way to absorb the smell from emitting to the air is by covering the whole thing with soil

The reason why there is an urge to do composting because I  feel guilty when I have to throw away food.  I always try to finish the food, even the already takes few times trip in-and-out the fridge. But sometimes there is a point when finally it has to be disposed.

Even I also feel guilty when I have to discard some inedible parts of vegetable and fruits, like wilted leaves, hard steams or fruit peels. Those unwanted things don’t belong to dumpster land, they belong to the soil where they come from. Let them have a full circle of their life span, from soil to soil.

When I moved to a landed house, I know this is the right time to start my composting program. There are many options for composting method. However, from the beginning, I tend to like the composting hole method.  Composting holes is a hole with 20 cm diameter and  1 m depth. I choose this type of composting model because it diminishes the bad odor as the decaying material is buried down in the soil. Also to prevent animals, like stray cats and mice, to dig the waste as it contains food scraps.

I consider the highlight of my property is those composting holes.  when I have some friends coming, I will heartily show and explain to them those composting holes. I explain how I  separate the kitchen waste from non-organic waste and put them into composting holes. But not sure if they are really impressed with that.

The composting process involves four main components: organic matter, moisture, oxygen, and bacteria. I only need to provide the organic matter such as kitchen waste, leaves and grass clipping from the garden. The rest three components are provided by the soil itself. You couldn’t imagine how much living organism actively breathing in the soil breaking down the organic material to makes the soil rich with nutrient which later will be absorbed by the plants.

The process begins from my kitchen where I separate the organic and non-organic waste. I place a container on my kitchen counter next to the kitchen sink so I can straight away put the waste in.  I chose an unused enamel coated aluminum pot with a lid as the waste container. Simply because it is easy to clean, just a rinse with water. It’s presentable as well,  nice to look at as it sits on my kitchen counter almost 24 hours. The last thing I want to see on my kitchen counter is a dirty ugly looking container.

You can’t leave the waste one whole day long on the kitchen counter, the decaying process is always ongoing and emitting some kind of rotten odor. Depends on the type of waste, sometimes the odor is quite mild, but still, I don’t want that smell in my kitchen. All I need just a few steps walking to my garden put the waste into composting holes and rinse the container with water.

Once composting hole almost full, cover the top part with some soil and let nature works its wonder. The whole composting process takes about 4 to 6 weeks. On dry season I need to water the holes to create a moist environment to speed up the process.

I was amazed when the first time I collected the final product. It doesn’t smell at all. It’s doesn’t look disgusting. It looks like healthy black soil. When I touch it with my bare hands, I can feel the moisture. Sometimes I find a healthy fat earthworms indicating good quality soil.

By doing the composting,  I feel that this is my way to pay back all the good things nature has given me. I develop a kind of special bonding with the land where I live. And one important point that half of my household waste problem solved.

I find composting is very easy, it only takes myself to commit to this lifestyle. Now I don’t see any other better way to process my kitchen waste other than composting. I believe everyone should start composting. By doing composting we directly reduce the burden of landfill and at the same time make our soil sustain its health. So what does hold you to start composting?

Now I Understand Why They Create Unisex Pants

Maybe it’s a bit  exaggerated statement, but I fell that my life is always in constant struggles. The struggle that I am talking about does not have something to do with a huge issue or related to life and death matter. Just small things that won’t disturb my life balance overall, but sometimes it keeps poking my mind.

Like other women, I always struggle with body issue. Actually nothing wrong with my body. It doesn’t have any physical imperfection and it functions perfectly to support my day to day life. I am not pretty stunning like a model of magazine cover nor too ugly. I am not tall with long bones frame but not too short either. I am not a lean thin stick but not obese with bulging skin. I am just normal, well that’ what I believe.

However, when it comes to the time for outfit fitting, my body shape and size which I consider normal becomes the outlier. As long as I recall, I always have battles in searching for a nice  fitting outfit for my body type. It seems that my size and shape doesn’t exist. Most of the time, the available outfits are either too small or too big for me. If there is a size for me, which lies in between too small and too big, usually there were already taken by someone who is lucky enough to grab it faster.

One friend told this may indicate that the presence of women with similar body type and size like mine, are more dominant, which explains why my size is sold out faster than the other two extreme sizes.  Hello……if there are more women with the same body shape and size as mine, then why they don’t make my size more available.

Looking for a shirt or blouse is less challenging compared to looking for pants. First, let me take a deep breath first before I narrate my life long struggle every time I look for a new pair of pants.  My body shape is usually described as pear shape which has  heavy bottom. I have wide hip with narrow waist, typical woman hourglass shape. My thighs are thick in another word big, most of the time they are rubbed each other.

Nowadays the ideal body type for a woman is portrayed by long stick thin legs with obvious thighs gap preferably.  It‘s reflected by the type of woman’s pants available in the market.

One day I went hunting for a new pair of pants. As already expected,  most of ladies pants are tight fit models, which the thigh area can only fit my upper arm. I didn’t need to try those pants on, by looking at them I know it won’t fit in my thighs.

With desperate look I told the shopkeeper that I can’t have them, too small for me.  She then suggested trying   the unisex ones. I gave her a confused looked. How could my very womanly curvy bottom share the same pants with a man?  Both sexes have completely different body shapes and anatomies.

However, when she presented the unisex pants, I saw a glimpse of hope of finding new pants. And I thought why not give it a try, only need a little trip to the fitting room. In the beginning, I couldn’t believe it. When I saw my reflection on the mirror, I could see it fit nicely on my waist, hip, and thighs.   Only need little alteration to shorten the length.

There were so many questions in my head. Did my body change to man’s body type? Nope….definitely no, I know my body very well.  Or is it because more male out there with female’s body type?? I read that too much estrogen hormone contains in food can cause the hormone alteration on man.

However, finding the answer was not my priority at that moment. What important is I finally can find new pants that fit nicely on my curvy bottom, it doesn’t matter if it unisex pants. So I quickly grab a few other with different color,  before I run out the size.  Very typical woman shopping mentality.

That day I went out of the store with a kind of triumph sensation, somehow I felt that I just won a battle. Now I believe they have created unisex pants for something. Unisex pants that can fit my womanly curvy bottom.